In My Veins (I cannot get you out)
by Hisgirlfelicity
Summary: "She was his, at least for the moment and he'd always been hers" Series of short-ish Harlee/Stahl fics
1. I need to be ok when this is over

on the morning that her file was slapped onto his desk Robert Stahl allowed himself to speak her name out-loud into his empty office.

"Harlee"

the letters tasted like her mouth would months later. Sweet in a way that made his lips tremble. Vulnerable in a way that she'd never allowed herself to be.

"I need to be ok when this is over" it was a whisper over his lips, smeared with her lipstick and almost close enough to move with her words.

"I-I need you to tell me everything will be ok, I need to be able to live with myself when this is over" He couldn't promise but his tongue ached to say something that could give her the peace he'd taken away the day they met.

he kissed her again with her fingers tugging at the hairs on the base of his neck as if pulling him further into her gravity. Her scent consumed him and her lips haunted him, stitched him together and tore him to pieces.

A strand of her hair wrapped itself around his desperate fingers and she sighed into his mouth. you're so beautiful he meant to say, how are you doing this to me? he wanted to plead, but instead he just spoke her name again and again in between kisses and touches.

Soon enough her coat was on his floor, her scent clinging to the fibers of his unsuspecting carpet. His suit jacket followed and her hands touched him everywhere. Her slender fingers spread over his chest so to touch as much as she could manage. His skin tingled under the thin material of his button down almost anticipating the skin on skin contact. It was the last barrier between them, her eyes were warm in the aftermath of could-have-been tears and the depth of her dilated pupils were looking straight through any wall he had the pretense of building.

She was his, at least for the moment and he'd always been hers, save when he pretended to belong to no one.

He kissed down her neck, past where her wire would hang in attention, the tiny stones hiding a bug, the gentle necklace hanging him around her neck. She made sounds that he hoped he could live his life hearing and when he reached the junction between her neck and shoulder she seemed to explode into a fury of popping buttons and broken stitches on his shirt. His blood rushed and her clasp came undone, her body radiated need and his burned to quench it.

The ground disappeared from under her and his fingers splayed over the undersides of her thighs urging her to wrap them around his waist. They gasped in unison when she squeezed and he realized that he couldn't exist again until he made her his own. Something inside him wondered if he'd ever be able to revert back to the agent with the stoic eyes and the cold lips. In a brief second of air and Harlee taking his earlobe into her mouth, he supposed that maybe the answer was no, that maybe the gentile determination of her gaze would always be reflected in his own and that the warmth of her probing lips had been burned into him.

The thought terrified him but then they had made it to his bed and in an entrancing movement she landed on his bed. Their eyes met, sky and earth, and she was the period to end every sentence that could ever exist. She laughed suddenly,but only because he kissed his way down her stomach, but maybe also because finding someone to want was truly intoxicating, and Robert Stahl's eyes were the clear blue moonshine of a lifetime.

The sharp edges of his room beheld the curve of her ass and the slope of her lips as a believer would a deity. His lips worshiped her and she believed in a religion composed of the way their bodies moved as one.

He fell into her sunlight and into her darkness. He felt her becoming everything, his downfall and his completion. her eyes were melted pain and his were swirling with torment and each found their home in the broken cracks of what could have been. As the sun set and her dizzy head met with his beating chest, the pain faltered into a spark, a kiss, a murmur, and if only for one night they confused it for ardor.

She slept, and he followed her, the silence interrupted only by their breathing that sighed I need you.


	2. I thought of you

Very short but I had to get this out of my system, needless to say I cannot stop writing these two. I have some Ideas for a multi-chaper fic would anyone be interested in reading that? Drop me a comment and let me know! thanks for reading!

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"I thought of you" his blue eyes were troubled and in a distant place

he swallowed, almost choking on the confession

"That night, you know, when I-" he knew he didn't have to finish, in here eyes there was understanding, and also something else that he couldn't quite comprehend. Sometimes he felt that way, as if her eyes spoke a language of their own, fluent in their particular dialect of absoluteness.

He'd found the bugs fairly quickly in his apartment

but he'd left them, because he knew her eyes well, their depths and their mistrust and something inside him, however small and naive, thought maybe he'd be the one to convince them.

"I called out your name" _over and over_

Harlee's breathing was shallow and told him that she hadn't completely watched the woman with no name give herself to him. He wasn't sure what she saw or at what angle the cameras caught him unfastening the woman's bun to fall over her shoulders, or maybe she'd only seen him unzipping her dress.

The truth was that he had tasted the pain of Harlee's mouth on that of another, he'd pulled and tugged in the darkness of his delirium for the softness of Harlee's skin and the harshness of her eyes.

he hadn't found any of it, but god did he look, he searched blindly and hopelessly for something of her and the sounds he'd made were the melody of his fixation with the way her hair curled into itself.

"I searched for you" and he had been, he looked in everything for anything of her and nothing compared to the scent that lingered as a consequence of _her_.

He could feel her watching him and he wondered if she truly understood what her existence meant for him. She'd destroyed him, or at least a part of him, and she'd nursed another part, one that began and ended with her.

Under his pale grey bed sheets he knew there was a possibility that they'd never get past this. He'd always be the FBI agent and she'd always be the crooked detective. He felt it branded onto their skin when they touched and he tasted it sometimes on her neck right under where the clasp of her bugged necklace would betray her.

something innocent and foolish waited for her to tell him that she'd thought of him too, that she'd confused him for someone else in the darkness of her circumstances, but she didn't and he'd heard her through the clear wire of her bug call out for another man, one that didn't have a cold grip on her choices.

In another world maybe he could've been the man that gave her peace

"Will it ever end?" he didn't answer, mostly because he had no answer for her. Instead he kissed her again allowing her to exhale her affliction into his mouth.

He licked it off her lips and swallowed it whole

" _I thought of you_ " he wanted to remind her so he spoke it onto the tops of her breasts

 _only you_

 _I think of you_

 _always, without reason and without a single drop of sanity._

Her fingers gripped onto the tops of his arms and maybe in that moment with their eyes probing, he could've confided something to her smeared lips,

but their ears were far too modest and tainted for their hearts to understand what was buried inside.


	3. Power and Control

GUYS its been so long but Shades of Blue is back and better than ever! I changed this story to M just to be safe. Not a whole lot of explicitness in this one but I'd like to take these short blurbs in a more mature direction if thats alright with you all. ENJOY and thanks for reading

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 **Power and Control**

 _AU: Harlee calls Stahl after killing Miguel_

Stahl walked in to find rivets of water clinging greedily to her skin.

The droplets soaked her, rolled around her surface and fell down her body as if teasing him to come closer and taste them for himself. He considered what they would taste like and decided on a salt of clean and of her. The thought made his tongue tingle but the threshold of her apartment refused to release him.

Her robe was undone enough that he should have looked away, The skin of the tops of her breasts and the slope of where the curve of her thigh became her core was shy, and although he knew better, the flush of the skin there looked untouched.

The skin peeked out weary of him, trying to shame him into tearing his eyes away, but he was no gentleman and he imagined that they were past niceties.

So he looked, and she watched him drink her in.

The man she had killed laid neatly tucked into a shower curtain at her feet, the same curtain that had watched her strip, that had seen the silks of her clothing caress her skin on their way down into a puddle on her tile floor. Now the polyester material was an accomplice, he considered the idea that they had that in common, at least.

Harlee's chest was heaving but her eyes were sharp and steady cognac.

"The sex was that bad, huh?" A small piece of Miguel's hair stuck out from under the confines of the curtain as if gasping for air.

Sthal cocked an eyebrow knowing that he wouldn't need a DNA test to know exactly who was under the tight material.

"Or that good" he teased, though it didn't touch his eyes

The entombment was quick and dirty and with a eulogy to rival that of a fish getting flushed down a toilet. Unceremonious at most and barbaric at its very core.

They didn't speak as they dug out the grave of her dead team-member, or when the body of her child's father fell limply atop the sealed coffin, not even when she jumped in the grave with a hammer and a steady hand. What would they say? They were both acquainted enough with this sort of shit to know what it meant for them, words just left a bitter taste in their mouths.

The dirt smeared on her jeans rubbed against the leather interior of his black SUV, in the darkness the earth belonging to a grave seemed to stain red. Harlee didn't wear a seatbelt, he thought of telling her to put it on but her eyes were distant as the lights of the street illuminated her profile.

She didn't ask where they were going so he didn't tell and when he pulled into the garage of his building and put the vehicle into park, Harlee got out of the car wordlessly, leading him into his apartment without a second thought or a single glance over her shoulder.

The door was unlocked and through his body he felt her fever. The skin under his palms scorched as he pinned her up against the wall, pressing her wrists up above her head, his lips finding the skin at the base of her neck. The hair she had tied up tickled at his mouth and the scent of exertion and death suited her. Harlee gasped and let her hips press back against his

His mouth was so close to her ear,

"Is this what you need, Harlee? Hmm? A reminder that you belong to me?" The context of his words push and pulled them like a stream of electricity. The asset and the agent, how cliche, she wanted to roll her eyes but then Stahl's grip tightened on her hips, his thumbs just barely grazing the slope of her ass. She felt her skin bruising under his unrelenting grasp and she nearly choked on how badly she wanted it, the domination, the danger, his steel blue eyes harsh and unforgiving

and maybe that made her as sick as he was

"Maybe so" Harlee gasped, fitting her hips to the shape of his hardness, tilting her head to whisper into his ear

"But you exist for _me_ "

The tightly wound sanity between them snapped, he kissed her square on the mouth and she opened up to feel his tongue tasting what it had only imagined a couple hours ago. Their taste buds savored the sweet rotting taste of insanity, their teeth clanked together and Harlee allowed herself to be walked deeper into the clutches of unsteady ground.

He touched her, patting her down for a weapon, she laughed, at the absurdity of it all.

Their kisses were brutal, punishing, she ripped open his shirt, ripping the stitches and sending buttons to hide within the fibers of his carpet. He pulled at her hair, using it as leverage to suckle at her neck

"Tell me what you want" the words were spoken into the shared puffs of their breathing, their lips pressed together in hunger, they mouthed the response onto each other, over and over and over

 _Power and Control_


End file.
